There has been a centuries old debate between the ideas of nature and nurture when it comes to human development.
Tabula rasa, right? “Blank slate”
I don’t really believe that. I believe we are all born with innate strengths and personalities baked into our DNA. Even before the foundations of the world, scripture tells us that God thought of you. You were made on purpose for a purpose.
But…
I also know from the second we are able to take in stimulus, even before we’re born, our brains are learning. The study of the brain fascinates me. It always has, but more than that, knowing about how our brain works makes me feel powerful and able to be healthy and cultivate healthy mindsets in my children.
I know that every time this little one cries and I respond, her brain is learning secure attachment. She is learning that when she needs help, someone will help her. It is teaching her brain that she is safe; as she grows, she can go on about learning higher-level things without worrying about survival.
I’m so thankful to be able to do this for my kids in the best way I can.
But for many, this hasn’t been true. You haven’t been safe. Your brain learned to live in fight or flight mode because you didn’t know when the next bad thing was going to happen.
That’s trauma.
Your brain on trauma is a whole deal. Even when you’re out of those situations, your brain holds on to what it learned.
It will take time to teach yourself that you’re safe. It will take time to learn healthy relationships.
Give yourself the time. We all have lies that we believe. Jesus heals all those wounds, friend (even if some were given to you in His name by broken people).
Lean in.
Relearn.
You were born for greatness.
-Beth